Major tenets of spirituality that were (and somewhat still are) confusing to me include the Soul, Holy Spirit, and Consciousness.
Soul and Holy Spirit are terms that are used interchangeably. It is thought of as being infused into the body at conception. The Soul (or Holy Spirit) is thought to be the very breath of life, ones connection with immortality. The body is a temporary vessel for an immortal Soul in the mortal realm. When we die, our physical body dies, but our Soul lives on. This is a composite of what I learned in my review of the different religious beliefs on the matter. I have come to think of it as an energy that animates my life. I say that, in part, because I can feel the energy when I direct my attention, or become conscious of my internal being. I can feel the energy most strongly in my toes and my fingers. You can also if you direct your conscious awareness to those extremities. At first it will be hard to do because your brain chatter gets in the way. If you can stop your thoughts, or put them on hold for a moment, direct your conscious awareness to your toes or fingertips, you should be able to feel energy. If you are good at this, you may feel the energy in other parts of your body as well.
I could say much more about the Holy Spirit and its’ effect on my life, but I am going to let it go. Suffice to say I am learning to ask it (Holy Spirit) what “I should do” and what “I should not do” on a daily basis. So far, so good.
Consciousness is a subject that has been a topic of discussion in the scientific world of late. The questions of what the term means and whether it survives death. The best way I can describe my thoughts on the matter is to call it an awareness, more appropriately, a conscious awareness of the moment. That’s sort of a nebulous phrase, I know. One way to illustrate how I view this is to consider a situation of extreme danger – you are witnessing a toddler stepping onto the street in the midst of traffic. Your attention and awareness totally takes over and you respond to the toddlers situation with no regard for self. That’s extreme, but I think it may illustrate what I am getting at. That level of consciousness in the present moment, unencumbered by thoughts of self. I have come to recognize that, in me, it manifests as the guy inside of me calling the shots. In any situational or personal encounter, I ( the guy inside) could defer to the ego- you remember what that is- or I could defer to my higher self . To be consciously aware is to defer to my higher self. I of course, like 99+% of other people I know, defer to the ego. Now that’s not always so bad because in many instances I am agreeable with others. Aspects of my ego and that of others are similar in some ways. In my experience, it’s like talking to someone about how good ice cream is. You’r rarely going to get in an argument over that. However, often egos’ clash and the result is often hurtful and self serving, leading to conflict and bad choices.
Less than two years ago, it became obvious to my children that Nona needed more help than I could provide for her personally and on top of that my health had eroded to the point where I had to be hospitalized and undergo minor surgery. They made the decision that the only reasonable course of action was for Nona to go into a nursing home. This would provide better care for her and relief for me. I fought that decision vehemently and struggled inside because I knew they were right in their assessment of the situation but couldn’t bear to let go. It was an ego thing, fear that I failed at her care. That old feeling of not measuring up, a fear of lack. I guess I had to admit to defeat . I finally let go, and Jo was admitted to a nursing facility. From the first day there and on to the present time, she has been happy and well taken care of. On top of that my feeling of well being has increased dramatically. All I had to do is “let Go” of my fear and sense of failure.
Questions
Do any of the terms Holy Spirit, Soul, Consciousness ever come up in your mind or in conversation with others? If so, do you consider any of them relevant to your life ? Perhaps terms of a bygone era, without substance? How likely are you to let go of a position you strongly hold when opposed by another? If it comes to choosing to be right or be in a relationship, what do you choose?
Comments
I know that you and I came up in totally different times. People in my time were church goers, in your time not so much. With all the crap that is going on in the world, and all of the stuff that is most interesting to you at this point in your young life, the stuff I am sharing with you here seems of little or no value. I understand that. I think , however, at some point in your life it will become more meaningful. At least that is my hope.
To me, my long search for who I am has been most meaningful. I like to think of me as “ the guy inside my body who must chose who to listen to, the spiritual self or the ego self.” To do so requires that I am aware of the present moment, that I strive to be consciously aware-at all times-in my interactions with people and events.
As you may have noticed, I talked a lot about who I am not, who I think of me as being and the spiritual connection (soul, spirit) that I possess . But who am I? To that I defer to Tao-te ching, by Lao-tzu. Tao is the source from which all appearance derives, the unproduced producer of all that is, and the guarantor of its stablity and regularity. The Tao that can be known is not the true Tao.
That’s a bit confusing, but translated, the Tao is what I truly am. The message is that if it is known, that is not it. The concept is simple: what you are is not a thing or object that the mind can grasp. Who I am can not be known. It reminds me of a prayer we would recite in church that includes the phrase “the peace that exceeds all understanding.“
Suggestions
Live your life passionately, let your story unfold. Hopefully you will do so with a steadfast adherence to the principles that define “who you are” at the moment. I will leave this “who am I” discussion with two of the most under rated statements you will ever hear.
You are much more than you think you are.
Life is much greater than the shadows on the wall (ref. Plato allegory of the cave).
John 